Mojave
by Steve Barker

--“Hello,” she said after picking up the phone.
--“Hi, babe. Just letting you know I’m not going to make it home tonight.”
--“Why, is something wrong?”
--“No, Gary and I just need to work some overtime.”
--“Did they find her?”
--“Yeah, but it’s not looking good.”
--“That’s too bad.”
--“Yeah, I feel for her parents. I’ll be home when I can.”
--“Amanda’s going to be upset. She’s been waiting for you to get home.”
--“I know. Tell her I’ll spend the whole weekend with her.”
--“She was hoping you’d read to her tonight.”
--“I know and I’d love to, but I have to work. Gary and I have a special assignment.”
--“Doing what?”
--“I’ll tell you later. Can you read to her?”
--“I’ll do it, but you know she loves it when you read. You do all the silly voices.”
--“Tell her I’ll read to her over the weekend.
--“I will, but she’ll be disappointed.”
--“There’s nothing I can do. It’s not like I want to work all night.”
--“I know. You’re just doing your job.”
--“I have to get going. Bye, babe.”
--“I love you, Jim.”
--“I love you too. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
--“Gary, this is kind of fucked up,” Jim said with a flashlight pointed to the desert ground.
--“I know it’s fucked, man, but we’re just doing our job,” Gary said through a puff of smoke.
--Both men looked at the ground. They had covered her with a blanket but a pink sock still stuck out.
--“How many more hours do we have to do this?”
--“Everyone’s going to be here in a couple hours.”
--“It’s cold,” Jim said tucking his neck deep into his fuzzy collar.
--“I know, you’re shivering. Just try and relax.”
--“It’s kind of hard to relax when she’s right there,” Jim said shining his flashlight against a crumbling stonewall.
--“Jim, there’s nothing to be worried about,” he looked up at the night sky scattered with stars. --“Take a look up at the sky. It’s a beautiful night. She ain’t going to hurt you.”
--“It doesn’t smell nice,” Jim said stepping away from the body.
--“Of course it doesn’t.”
--“Can I have a cigarette?”
--“I’ve never seen you smoke,” said Gary in a sarcastic voice.
--“I’d like one. Just to overcome the smell.”
--“When was the last time you had a cigarette?”
--“I don’t know. High school, I guess,” Jim said with his eyes on the cracked desert floor.
--“If you cough I’ll laugh at you,” Gary said holding out the cigarette.
--“Thank you. I’ll give you a quarter if you want.”
--“Don’t disrespect me,” he shook his head. “If you wanted to pay me for the smoke you’d have to give me at least 50 cents for me to make a profit.”
--“How about I give you equal?”
--“Then you’ll still need to offer me more than a quarter.”
--“I’ve got two quarters,” he said reaching into his pocket.
--“I don’t want them,” he said waving his hand. “Just don’t insult me with your chump change. A cigarette is worth much more than a quarter. Especially when you’re bumming it in the middle of the desert.”
--“Can I see your lighter?”
--“Now that will cost you.”
--“Two quarters is all I got,” Jim said digging into his pockets again.
--“I’m joking, man, but I think I’ll light it for you.”
--“Thanks,” he said pulling the lit cigarette from his mouth. “The smell ain’t so bad any more.”
--“Naw, but it’ll get worse by morning. One time we came upon a body that was three weeks old and it smelled like rotten asshole.”
--“You’re disgusting,” he said then coughed out a cloud of smoke.“Pussy.”
--“What? Don’t say that in front of her. I was trying to speak as I had smoke in my throat. Any smoker would cough from that.”
--“Not a real smoker,” he said flicking his cigarette into the dark. The orange light glowed in the distance.

--“Sorry.”
--“Kidding,” he said pulling out another cigarette for himself. “Just trying to lighten the mood.”
--“This mood couldn’t get any darker.”
--“No need to be like that. Think of it this way; by tomorrow morning we’ll be able to give a grieving family closure.” Gary said, with the cigarette hanging from the corner of his lips.
--“Maybe, but you know they still had some hope, which is gone now.”
--“Yeah, but at least they’ll sleep better knowing for sure she’s really gone. Having hope for 20 years would only make their lives hell.”
--“Maybe you can see a positive, but I can’t.”
--“You’re negativity isn’t going to make it any better.”
--“Another cigarette won’t make it better either.”
--“I wish I had some whiskey.”
--“What?”
--“Canadian sipping whiskey. I wish I had some now.”
--“Like booze could make this problem go away.”
--“It sure could. I don’t want to be thinking about this when I’m at home with my wife or watching football on Sunday.”
--“Neither do I, but I’m not going to drink this experience away.”
--“I might,” he took a long drag. “Do you want to think of this little girl when you hug your daughter?”
--“No, but I know my daughter will never be in this situation.”
--“You’d hope not.”
--“Amanda’s smarter than that. We’ve taught her not to go with strangers.”
--“I bet this girl’s parents did the same thing.”
--“Shut up. This won’t happen to Amanda.”
--“Let’s hope not, but I’m just saying that it could. Mother fuckers are fucked out there.”
--“I know,” Jim stepped on his cigarette. “Maybe a drink would be nice after this. Why are we here anyway? It’s not like someone would steal the body.”
--“Like I just said, mother fuckers are fucked out there.”
--“That’s one thing I’ve learned from this job,” Jim said with his head hung low. He focused on a hole he’d been digging in the ground with his toe. He couldn’t lift his head for fear of seeing her.
--“I hope they’re beating the piss out him back at the station right now.”
--“What will that solve?”
--“Nothing, but it will make me feel good.”
--“You’re the sicko,” he kicked the pile of dirt back into the hole and raised his head focusing on Gary.
--“Maybe, but I’ll be even happier when his skinny white ass gets sent to jail and he gets raped and beaten in the shower.”
--“Who’s to say that will make anything better?”
--“It won’t, but how do you think she felt? In the middle of nowhere. God knows what sick things he did to her. She must have been so scared. I want him to feel that pain,” his voice raised. “She was an innocent little girl.”
--“He does deserve to be punished, but I think it should be humane.”
--“Why? He didn’t treat her with any respect. Her family should be able to beat him with chains and bats until he’s dead.”
--“Like I said before, what will that solve?”
--“Nothing, but the family will feel good.”
--“Then what? Their daughter or sister or whatever will still be dead.”
--“Yeah, but it’s better then him lifting weights all day in the prison yard. He’ll being pumping iron all day in between meals. Jail will just turn him into a machine,” Gary said lighting up another smoke. “She woke up that morning thinking she was going to the fourth grade.”
--“I can see your point,” Jim paused to blow a hot breath on his hand. “But how are we any better than him if we do the exact same thing?”
--“It’s like Jesus said, ‘an eye for an eye.’”
--“Jesus never said that.”
--“Then who did?”
--“Hummurabi.”
--“Who the fuck is that? I think you’re confused.”
--“No, I’m not, but let’s drop it. I agree that his punishment will probably not fit the crime, but whose to say any of us have the authority to punish another human being.”
--“We do! We live in a society and we have rules and he broke the biggest one in one of the most heinous ways. He should be tarred and feathered then be forced to walk around LA while everyone on the street has the power to kick his ass,” a small smile crossed Gary’s face. “It would bring us together as a community.”
--“Now you’re just being a jerk. We’re not savages.”
--“People don’t think of the consequences when they’re in the heat of the moment, because the consequences aren’t that bad. When the Italians chopped people’s heads off in the middle of town they barely had any crime at all.”
--“First, it was the French and they had plenty of crime and most of the people being guillotined didn’t deserve it. People were power hungry and who’s to say anyone has power over anyone else?”
--“We do. We’re cops.”
--“Whatever, I don’t want to argue anymore,” Jim said with his hand over his nose.
--“Sorry if I upset you,” Gary looked up at the stars. “We’re cool right?”
--“Sure.”
--A cold breeze blew across the desert Jim and Gary hung their heads in silence until the landscape lightened. Clouds made way for the sun. A helicopter flew overhead then police cars surrounded them. They took off their jackets and got in the back of a squad car. Jim took one last look out the back window. Two men picked her up and slipped her into a black bag. After they zipped her up Jim looked away. He stared out the window not saying anything until he pulled his cell phone from his pocket.
--“Hello,” she said after picking up the phone in a groggy voice.
--“Hi, babe.”
--“Hi, Jim I just woke up. I’m getting Amanda ready to walk to school.”
--“Don’t let her. Also, cancel you’re doctor’s appointment for this afternoon.”
--“Why?”
--“Because, I want to spend the day with the two most important women in my life.”

return to Letter X

Steve lives in Capitol Hill and is a co editor of the journal When it Rains From the Ground Up. When he’s not writing he works in the service industry and would like to take this time to remind everyone to tip your server. Most recently his work has appeared in Zygote in my Coffee #48. You can also read his work at www.write2die.com.
copyright 2006 ©
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